I know where fear lives

Today I had an appointment at a very nice place. The building is clean, and bright.
The people are really nice. It's the W omen's Breast Health Center. I went there on the recommendation of my primary care physician back in September after the car accident. My left breast was swollen, black, and painful back then. My doctor examined it carefully, and I knew something was not right when I watched his usual poker, doctor face change to one of concern. He left the room. He was gone maybe five minutes, and returned with a paper in his hand. He handed me the paper, and said he wanted me to be examined there as soon as his nurse could get me an appointment. Within just a couple of days I was in a surgeon's office. She examined me and said I should have a mammogram. So, down the hall I went to the Women's Breast Health center. I had the mammogram that day. I also had an ultrasound that day. Something was measured and marked, and I was told to come back in six months. Today was that six months.

Like I said, the people are really really nice....the cream of the crop. Smiles all around, soft spoken, compassionate.

I went through the door from the waiting area to find a really sweet place. It was really clean, really bright, had flowers, had pink, had pink breast cancer ribbons on the scrub tops. I was put in a small (but feminine) room no larger than a walk in closet...my walk in closet! Anyway I was told to remove everything from the waist up, and put on this cute little flowered y cape looking thing. That's when I found where fear lives. Putting on that little flowered cape made me afraid. Suddenly it was plain to me that something could be wrong with me. I held that cape closed around me as best as I could, and tried to hide inside it. I'm a big woman and that was a small cape, but I wanted to hide in that cape.

I had the mammogram. No problem. I've done this lots of times. (hope you have,too!)
Then I was directed to another waiting room. There was a woman already sitting in the room. She was probably older than me. She had found fear, too. It was all over her sweet face. We got to talking about "the thing" that could be wrong with us. She was trying to hide inside her cape, too. When the nurse came to take her back to the ultrasound room, she stood slowly, and carefully, then moved out of the room like someone condemned to be hanged out back. I wondered if I had that same look on my face.

After I got home I began to go over everything in my mind. That's when I decided that I know where fear lives. It lives in that small room where we put on our little capes and become someone that could have something serious wrong with us. I
have decided that I will tell that fear to go away from my mind, and I will fill my mind with God's Word. "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee". He loves me and He cares for me. That's it, and that's all I need to know. :)

Oh, and by the way, something was found. It's the size of a grape, and looks like there is a "seed" growing inside the grape. I will return in 6 months to have the procedures done all over again. I will trust that God has given all my doctors wisdom, and He will fill me with peace while I wait.