Has it really been that long??

My goodness, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I had a sinus infection and the right side of my face was swollen and I felt terrible. I went to the Urgent Care clinic and was x-rayed and put on antibiotics. I got over the sinus infection, then started with a very sore throat. I waited a couple of days, and then Dennis thought I should go back to the Urgent Care clinic and see if I had strep. I waited 2 1/2 hours for a doctor (the place was packed with sick folks). Yep, I did indeed have strep throat. Back on antibiotics again. This time it was different, and it worked with the second pill I took. Yay!! Then I got a stomach bug and was freezing cold all the time. *sigh* Right now as I sit here, I feel fine. Almost good as a matter of fact!

It's really really cold here tonight. We had an afternoon high today of 14 and it's going down tonight to 8*. What kind of temperature is that?? At least it'll be warmer tomorrow and maybe we can get out to shop a little while the girls are in school.

It's Thursday, so that means I need to tell you about my thankfulness.

I wanted to be a nurse when I "grew up". I planned and planned while I was in high school about being a nurse. Where to go to school, etc. I talked nursing with my mom and we planned together. Well, then I met Dennis. Nursing career went right out of my head! I met Dennis on January 16th, and we got married on April 19th. I didn't think about nursing school for years. God had other plans for me. I can see His hand at work in my life. I have been busy doing His will instead of my own. I have been a Proverbs 31 woman, and am now working on becoming an Ephesians 4 woman.
Could I have been a Proverbs 31 woman and be a nurse? Absolutely!! But that isn't what God had in mind for me. He has brought countless infants and children into my life that I would not have had the opportunity to meet had I been busy outside our home doing something else. Dennis and I have been foster parents 3 different times during our marriage, and I have done in home child care countless times. We are now raising 2 of our grand children, plus we adopted our darling Ally back when she was 3 1/2 years old. I don't miss nursing one bit, and I'm thankful that God had other plans for me and my life. On this Thankful Thursday I am thankful that I let God take control of my life way back when I was 12 years old.

I'm thankful God moved us from Ohio to Oklahoma back in 1981. He had told us that He wanted us to attend Bible School, so we sold our home in Kettering, and moved out to Tulsa. No money, no job, no friends. Just God's word to us. Oh the things we saw God do!! We got an eviction notice on a Monday, and from almost nowhere we received over $900 by Friday of that same week! We told no one about our situation, but suddenly people were thinking about us and remembering money we had loaned to them, and they suddenly wanted to pay us back. hmmmmm! Must be God....... We rented a really nice house, but the oven didn't work in the stove. Funny thing, my wonderful mother-in-law had given me a really nice electric skillet for Christmas before we moved to Oklahoma. I was standing in front of that stove with the nonworking oven and wondering how I was going to cook our dinner that night. Suddenly I was thinking of a recipe and I had all the ingredients and I could cook it in that electric skillet. It was wonderful! Same thing happened over and over. I was "baking" all kinds of things in that skillet. And I don't like to cook!

I'm thankful for good health after the bad time I just went through with the 3 strokes, heart attack, and kidney failure. What I'm the most thankful for is watching my wonderful loving caring Heavenly Father at work with me during all this time. Did I want Him to "zap" me whole, and healed all at once?? YEP! I sure did. But did He do that? NO He did not. It was slowly one inch at a time. People saw me walking with a walker and struggling along trying to keep up. They saw me sitting in my recliner not able to get up by myself. A year and a half people saw me struggling just to stay alive. Very slowly I felt myself getting stronger. Very slowly I have been able to walk alone again, cook meals again, do laundry again, go shopping again. The people who watched all this can not dispute what has happened to me. They saw it all. I'm sure they wonder, and try to put a scientific spin on things, but I know what happened to me, and I'm so thankful for it all. If my struggling brought even one person to know God it's been worth it all.

I'm thankful that God has helped me with my struggle with depression. Our second daughter just lost a friend to suicide because of depression. Depression is a terrible thing. It's a thick black blanket of sadness and despair that you can not be free of. Others will say "snap out of it", "think happy thoughts", blah, blah, blah ad nauseum. They mean well. They really really do. But it isn't that simple.
I understand the despair that drove that lovely young mother to decide it isn't worth living one more day. I've been there. I'm thankful that my love for Jesus, and my desire to please Him kept me from harming myself. It hasn't been easy. But I have Ally, who has Asperger's Autism. She needs me (and I need her). Ally feels that she can't go to sleep at night without me right there beside her. What if I weren't there? She is capable of crying all night if I am not there. Ask my family, and they will confirm that's true. Ally doesn't understand if I'm not there whenever she needs me. When we go to the counselor on Tuesdays, Ally will not talk to the counselor if I'm not there. I don't have a puffed up opinion of myself because of this need. The need is there, and it's real. I have every confidence that my precious Ally will mature past this need of me, but it's there now. And I need her, too. What if my grown kids needed to talk to me about something and I weren't here? I want to be here for them, too. What if my wonderful husband needed to talk to me about some decision he needed to make, and I weren't here? I want to be here for him. What if my dad needed to hear my voice, and he called here and I weren't here for him? I want to be here for my dad when he wants me to be here. I'm thankful God has helped me come through these black times of depression. He would have helped Dana's friend, too, if she had but asked Him.

See what I'm saying? I'm thankful for my loving Heavenly Father Who loves me and cares for me. I'm thankful that He has a plan for me, and His word is a light unto my path, and He directs my pathway. I'm glad He hears me when I call, and when I cry out to Him, He hears me and He listens to me, and He tells me it's going to be ok. I'm thankful He is always with me. Even in the hospital emergency room when I cried to Him and reminded Him that He promised to never leave me or forsake me. And He didn't..........